A Broken Spirit, A Repentant Heart, and Ripped Jeans

Happy Wednesday everybody! So much has changed in my life recently and I have some amazing stories to share with you all this next month, if you follow along on my Instagram you’ll see a few in the next coming days!!

But today I wanted to do something special. You may remeber a few weeks ago I mentioned this group called WWW2C in this post. They have a wonderful social media presence and an awesome mission! I love their website and how everything you could honestly ever need in your Christian lifestyle is at your fingertips in their app.

I have attached a link to their site and their app.

I invited them to do a guest post this week and I hope you enjoy the unique and very raw story that is shared below. I’ll see you guys next week…

Guest post// 

A major question people ask nowadays is,  “Why does everyone wear ripped jeans?” I’m sorry to say, I can’t answer this question for everyone. But, I can and will answer it for myself.

As fashion does, my style went through many different phases. I remember when I would go to church with preppy styled outfits, you know – button-down shirts, slacks, cardigan, and maybe a tie. This phase came to an end when I went through a series of losses. Losing my grandmother, losing my financial aid, losing friendships – all while my character was being corrected.

This period caused a great deal of sadness for me. It made it very difficult to commit to or do anything – even the things I loved. I remember going to church and hoping someone would ask how I was really doing; not just for the sake of small talk, but for a moment of transparency so I could know someone else really cared and was there for me. But, that never happened.

So I began to wonder “Why?” Is it because I’m active and it appears on the surface as if everything in my life is ok? Is it because I dress the part? All of this made me think “I need Jesus” –  He’s the only one who knows what I’m going through and can actually help.

There was a phrase that I couldn’t let go of –  “It’s not about your feelings.” Just like Jesus didn’t FEEL like carrying the weight of our sins as we saw when He prayed in the garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26:36-46.

If Jesus could lay down his feelings and die for me, what excuses do I have to not get through this?

Knowing that I have that type of God by my side, I was able to hold on to hope. As a result, I cared less about what I wore and more about my relationship with Jesus.

The closer I got to Jesus, the more I hated my sins. But, as much as I hated them, I kept committing them time and time again. It felt like a war was going on inside me, very similar to what Paul was going through in Romans 7:15-20. This caused my heart to break because no matter how hard I tried, and how much I accomplished, I could not love Jesus in the way He deserved to be loved.

It was because of me He HAD to die because I cannot stop sinning. Psalms 51:17 reads:

“The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart…”

That’s where I was. I broke my own heart. I learned that’s exactly where God wanted me to be – broken and humble.  Here I learned that not only does Jesus loves me, but I desperately need Him… every week… every day… every moment!

I wear ripped jeans because my heart was broken. It’s an outward expression of my continuous inward state. What I choose to wear is an expression of who I am as a person, so if someone were to look at me and see my imperfect jeans, I would hope they’d also know I have an imperfect heart and I desperately need Jesus.

Some might say “those aren’t your best”.  I might say, “yeah, but they’re genuine.” I may be wrong in all of this, but I believe what we wear to church really doesn’t matter. Some of my deepest and most intimate moments with God happened in basketball shorts and a T-shirt.

All I want are those moments to happen as often as possible. I don’t know why everyone else wears ripped jeans, I know why I do… I just want to be genuine.

  • By Gerry Fortilus



Wearing:

Fedora Hat: Eddie Bauer

Jacket: Zara

Button up Shirt:

Long T-shirt: H&M

Jeans: H&M (personally ripped)

Chelsea Boots: Zara

 

 

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