This post is a little different from many but I’m going to use this as a way to process through some of my feelings. If this isn’t for you, I’ll be back with a “regular” post next week 😀
Recently I have felt off. I have just felt like life was happening and I was just along for the ride. Not doing very much more then what had to be done. School has been easy for me. The workload for my senior year is insane but the material is extremely easy. So I find myself just flying through assignments with a minimal amount of effort but still getting a 100%.
The college hunt is just a matter of sending emails to coaches and plugging in my test scores into little-colored boxes that match the university’s colors. Nothing major, just very tedious. And honestly, the college hunt is going great but completely different from what I imagined that, at this point, It doesn’t even really matter where I end up as long as they have what I’m looking for. So again, just floating through life.
As for the other areas of my life, I am enjoying life but not to the extent that I used to. I used to be able to feel creativity running through my veins, I’d get a thought for a post or even a book and not be able to focus on anything else. I’d get an outreach idea for the unbelievers at my school and get crazy excited. I’d think of an activity to do with my friends and not be able to sleep. But now, I sit in front of my computer to write a post and feel completely lost, blank, and like there is nothing new to say that hasn’t already been said.
I feel like passion has left me and, no matter how hard I try to find it, it’s nowhere to be found. I don’t know if any of you have ever felt this way but it is the weirdest feeling ever. The things that used to excite and inspire me, don’t anymore.
So I am officially dedicating this month to getting my passion back. I think I need to do something new, something different from what I have done before because I am obviously not being challenged. And, the rule of thumb for me is that, when I don’t have a goal, I’m lazy. So this month is my “goal-setting month”. I am letting you all know that this will be the month where I read the most books, listen to the most podcasts and music ever. And, most importantly, I need to find my next project. The thing to pour my time into and the outlet I will use to show God’s love to the world around me.
If you have ever felt this way, please let me know that I am not alone in this. Also, feel free to let me know of the things that excite and inspire you to be passionate. I am in great need of some inspiration.
XOXO, The Christian Prepster