I am not a great test taker. It is my downfall. I do super well in school but totally bomb tests. I am not sure why or how this happens but it just does. As you’re reading this I am actually taking the ACT (so pray for me cause I’ll need it). And honestly, I am not worried about the outcome but dreading it. I’ll do well but not amazingly.
Test taking is one of the many areas in my life when I have to just trust God. Let go and let God do his thing. Because I know that a dumb test won’t keep me from doing God’s will in my life. Yet, even knowing that it is still so hard to let go and trust Him.
In Wednesday’s post, I mentioned Hillsong’s new album (it’s amazing and you gotta listen to it). There is a line in “New Wine” that has just stuck with me all week. It has really convicted me and will hopefully move me to improve in trusting God.
“When I trust you I don’t need to understand”
I like to think I trust God. I like to think that I can hand my mountains over to God and live in peace. But I don’t. I pray and tell God that I trust him but I am never at peace until I understand why or how we are going to climb that mountain.
For the first time, I heard that isn’t trusting God. That’s just meaningless words because I am still carrying all of the weight.
The Hebrew word for this kind of trust is Batach which means “to be reliant or to be unsuspecting.” And when someone is reliant, that means they depend on something or someone. And truthfully, when I attempt to trust God I don’t think I approach the prayer in a reliant manner. I believe that the Lord is fully in control but I keep a tight hold on whatever I need to release. It’s between God and me, not just in God’s hands.
That isn’t good. I need to fully rely on the Lord. When I trust God, that means it has passed the point of what I can do and it is in the hands of the God of creation. Then we see that next part. “To be unsuspecting” ouch that one hurts. Because when I do finally hand over the situation, I am constantly knocking on God’s door like, “Hey God, just a reminder I have that test Saturday… how are we going to make sure I get a great score?” NO GIRL NO!!! That is not trusting the Lord. I am terrible at letting go and letting God take charge.
That’s why this line has been running through my mind 24/7. These next few months and years hold a lot of change for me and thank goodness I am slowly figuring out this trust thing because it will definitely come in handy.
You’d think after so many years of life we’d have this figured out by now. The very first people on this earth had to exercise trust. It is nothing new. When Adam and Eve were told not to eat fruit from the Tree of Good and Evil, they had to trust that the Lord was protecting them.
But, just as I do now, Adam and Eve failed to trust God. It is the slippery slope we all have ski passes for. We are faced with an opportunity to trust God and we fail. We fail, we fail and we fail. Again and again. Never learning our lesson.
But praise the Lord he loves us. He knows it is hard to trust especially when we have to trust him with something super important. But guys, he helps us. When we pray for strength and the ability to actually trust him. To be unsuspecting and to trust without needing to understand, He will help us.
He never abandons his children and he never will. No matter how many times we knock on his door making sure he’s got this all under control.
I am in this battle with you guys! The more we trust God in the small things, the more comfortable we will be trusting him in the big ones!
Have a great weekend!!!
XOXO, The Christian Prepster