Seeking Truth

I started getting really insecure. I had this desperate need to hear exactly what the Lord has to say about those areas in my life. It was the first time in my life when nothing else would fill my need. I couldn’t just play some good music and feel better, I couldn’t just go to bed and start fresh the next day… I needed the truth and only the truth.

Maybe it is just a girl thing, but one day I can feel so confident and the next I am just so insecure. I’ve struggled with this for awhile because I so desperately want to be extroverted but some days my introverted-ness just seems to take over. All my fears come back and I slip into this person who needs everyone’s approval.

So I decided to look into what God has to say about this. I found a verse in 2 Corinthians 3 that really spoke to me.

5 “It is not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.”

As I wrote before, I was feeling this lack of confidence, like I was inadequate of being the person I felt like I needed to be.

Then it was like this verse just come up out of the blue… really I don’t think I’ve ever seen this verse (maybe it’s a different version or God just hadn’t spoken to me through it before.) Either way, I needed this verse.

I love the first part. How it states that nothing is from us. Nothing competent comes from my humanity.

When I read that first line it took so much weight off my shoulders. It was a reminder that I can’t control everything. God didn’t give me the task of being adequate… that’s all up to Him.

Our confidence, adequacy, and abilities come from God, not ourselves. 

Once I realized that I had to face my confidence problem head on.

If one day I’m confident and the next I can’t find one ounce of self-esteem, then I have a problem in my spiritual walk.

If all of my confidence and adequacy is supposed to be from God then I need to trust that He has it all under control. I need to stop searching for confidence in how I look, how well I perform a task, and how I am handling situations.

Because when I mess up, when I totally and completely fail, the Lord wants me to be confident in the fact that none of those things make my adequate.

Every failure acts as a reminder that those things don’t make me adequate.

The Lord and the Lord alone grant me confidence.

XOXO, The Christian Prepster


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